Awright, you dumbasses like me who pay

your bills on time, and bought a house you could afford: we've got our orders to shut up.
For many months now, I have been writing about how the national mortgage crisis has affected at-risk borrowers like myself. Lured in by devious plus-size lenders like Linda Mustaine, with their promises of low interest ARMs and free Igloo coolers, millions of us were tricked into purchasing houses we obviously could not afford. Worse, when the market turned south, we faced the nightmarish prospect of being relocated to homes that we arguably could afford.

But through all of it, some of us persevered. We made the hard economic choices. We fought off eviction by keeping Linda Mustaine juiced up with mai tais at Applebee's happy hour. We sheltered our dirtbike assets in Kyle's shed, under a tarp, to stave off the repo men. We spent countless hours applying for the credit cards that would see us through. We made the wise economic decision to stop paying our stupid mortgages -- because we calculated that when the rainy day came, Washington would come to its senses and clear up the tab.
Etc. It would be far more funny if it didn't seem to actually sum up the way an awful lot of people are thinking.