Gary: (puffing pipe into life) "Obviously an assault candy cane. Bet it ain't registered."
Sheriff: "Dangerous things, assault canes."
Gary: "Obviously, a good shoot." Puff, puff.
Sheriff: "Don't worry boy. I'll call the Marshals first thing in the morning.
Me: "Duh, puff-pant, huh?"
Sheriff: "Boy, there's gonna be several million kids after your hide come Christmas. Witness Protection Program is your only chance."
Go read it anyway.
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