that NOTHING WORKS.
What brought this current attack of @)(#&&&^!!!DAMMIT on is matches. Specifically, what used to be called 'strike anywhere' matches. Mainstay of survival kits and Boy Sprout projects because you could dip the ends in wax to waterproof them, and then strike them on a rock, or the side of a pan or on your jeans-clad leg.
Which you cannot find anymore. All I can find is nanny-approved matches that have to be struck on, and ONLY on, their super-secret-safety strip on the side of the damn box.
Back when they first started some of this nonsense, friend told me about the 'safe and and environmentally friendly oven cleaner'. As he put it "It doesn't smell bad, it won't burn your skin, it's non-toxic and it's non-working." Son told me after Basic that the newer, safer, 'environmentally-friendly' bore cleaner didn't clean worth a damn.
I swear, some of these clowns would prefer us all either locked up or dead so we'd be 'safe' enough to suit them.