Among the Obamaphone features,

It automatically rejects calls from people with a different opinion.

Every time you take a picture, it produces a grimmer image of America.

It doesn’t have a plan; it just keeps telling you how bad the other guy’s plan is.

When it crashes, it blames your previous phone.

All 3 AM calls go directly to voicemail.

It has a really useless app called “Biden.”

Pairing it with another device sucks all the energy out of the other unit.

Type in “job search” and it gives you directions to the welfare office.

The navigation feature covers all 57 States.

And there's more!