Since I'm thinking of soldiers right now,

Behold I am a soldier bold,
I'm only twenty-five years old,
a finer warrior never was seen
from Inverness tae Gretna Green.
When I was young my father said
he would put me to a decent trade,
I didn'a like that job a'tall
so I went and I joined the Forty-Twa*

The wind may blow, the cold may crawl,
the rain may rain and the storm may storm
but you willna frighten' John MacGraw,
the stoutest man in the Forty-Twa

The corporal who enlisted me
he slapped my back, and then says he,
"A man like you so strong and tall
could never be kilt by a cannon ball.
The colonel then when he came roond,
he looked me up and he looked me doon,
and then says he "I'll take a guess,
ye must be the beastie of Loch Ness."

Chorus

To a great battle across the sea
the general he sent after me.
When I got there wi' my big gun
the battle was as good as won.
'Cause the enemy they all ran awa'
when the saw the size of Big MacGraw.
A man like me so big and neat, ye
ken yourself ye can never be beat.

Chorus

The King then held a grand review,
Ha! We numbered a thousand and fifty-two
the Forty-Twa came marchin' past,
and John Macgraw came a marchin' last.
The royal party grabbed their specs
and all began to stretch their necks;
said the King to the Colonel, "Upon my soul!
I took that lad for a telegraph pole!"

Chorus twice.

*The Forty-Second Highlanders