Oh, I can't wait

But wait!  In the Perfect Storm scenario, the ex-boyfriend, when called before the tribunal, refuses to bow down.  He does not beg for a lawyer.  He does not offer pathetic, chauvinistic attacks against his victimized accuser.  He does not beg for mercy.

Instead, the accused ex-boyfriend claims that the charge against him cannot possibly be true.  The reality, he says, is that during the time he was dating his accuser, his gender identity was feminine.  Not only was his gender identity feminine, it was also lesbian — and to the extent his appearance on campus was externally masculine, he behaved that way because he had discovered that he had much greater sexual success as a lesbian (with sexual success defined as encounters with other women) when those same women believed he was a man.  He knew, however, at all relevant times, that he was a lesbian having sex with the woman now hiding behind a screen and accusing him of the heteronormative crime of rape.

Not only does the accused ex-lesbian boyfriend deny the charges against him, he counterattacks.
Oh, to have the popcorn concession for that...