Friday, December 25, 2009

There will be a short break from our normal Christmas cheer

You! Bitch in the dark blue minivan on NW 36th! Yes, YOU! If you're so damn scared of ice that you can't drive through freakin' SLUSH at more than 5mph, GET THE EFFING PHONE OUT OF YOUR EAR AND USE BOTH HANDS.

And to the two morons driving Toyotas in front of me: stay off your damned brakes when you START UP A SLOPE!

And to the fucktard in the old Mercury who decided he just had to pass three cars. On an uphill. And upon seeing the oncoming car just kept shoving ahead, fishtailing all over: when you wind up in the morgue, I just hope you don't take someone else with you, you Darwin-Award-Waiting-To-Happen.

We now return to your normally-scheduled goodwill toward men.


Chad said...

I've long thought that people do not use their horn enough in this country. It's bad enough most of them can't be heard. But there's a stigma of whoever blows their horn is the "bad guy" not the moron who causes the problem.

kahr40 said...

The problem as I see it is that people use their horns instead of their brakes.

MauserMedic said...

The problem, as I see it, is we have made the nation entirely too safe, thereby allowing certain specimans to last long enough to reproduce who otherwise would have died of stupidity-related consequences long ago.

I call the "fuckwits", and they seem to be multiplying really, really fast.

K said...

Had a F---wit of the female persuasion sat on my tail with a mobile phone to her ear the other day.

It's almost a shame I didn't have to stop, as my tow ball would have made a nice hole in her radiator.

I should have had the camera with me, there was one car sat with a telegraph pole on top of it.

Anonymous said...

Oh, this is priceless.

Two weeks ago, a bitch in an SUV was damn near in my back seat. I was doing 50mph in a 45. For about two miles she was on my bumper.

I pull up to the light and stop, and she changes lanes. I take my opportunity to have a conversation with her.

"What the hell is your problem? Keep riding my bumper, next time you'll be looking at how pretty the front of your vehicle looks with the grill in your dash."

That's when her stupid bitch-ride-a-long piped up and said, "Screw you." Well, I had one last reply before they turned off the highway from the slow lane, without using the turning lane...this is what I said:

"You gonna help out your girlfriend? I'd love to see that. You might need to get a few'll need it. How 'bout we get out of our cars and have a real talk? If you think you can handle it, bitch, follow me."

They made a spastic turn.

Stupid bitches.