Thursday, March 12, 2009

One last thing: Tam makes reference to the ads

with pretty ladies about to fall out of their BDU pants and expose something through the open front of their vest if they turn a little, displaying whatever New Tacticaler! thing is being sold. Which reminded me...

One of my various gripes over the years has been the people who draw the covers of sci-fi and fantasy novels. In particular, the ones with the Heroine In The Mail Bikini or something similar and/or the Hero In The Breechclout chasing/being chased through the woods. No objection whatever to pretty females in scanty attire, but DAMN, people, have some sense! The way I once expressed this, in my usual quite tones, was along the lines of "I'd like to take the jerk who drew this, dress him up this way, and run his ass through the woods for a while; then we'll see if he thinks it's a good idea. And we'll send his girlfriend along, too!" The kids, having some experience with what you run into in the Oklahoma woods, laughed like hell. Yeah, think about running into greenbriar or blackberry vines with nothing between them and your tender hide; and that's not counting the bugs and the general stickers and things. There was a reason the Indians wore leggings and long shirts, people.


DirtCrashr said...

How about those cover designers of ladies Romance Novels, and the guy who came up with the idea to emboss them in low relief, to accentuate the hero's male pedigree as his thigh is held in the embrace of the voluptuous heroine... It's a bit much.

Firehand said...

I've never noticed the names, was it guys or girls who came up with that, I wonder?

Just a bit, yeah.

Marja said...

Hi, new here, but I'd like to add one more thing: most of those heroines have a pretty big, er, bosom. Which will make running around with no support actually painful. Not to mention the fact that the ladies in question are going to be having a more or less droopy pair in record time. This wisdom brought from personal experience (D cups. They used to look nice, a few decades ago). So yes, those covers make me wince in more that a couple of ways. I do have a lot of experience with mosquitoes and scratchy plant life too.

Firehand said...

Welcome, come back anytime.

I've known a few rather well-endowed ladies over the years; generally, they'd rather fight with fingernails alone than try running without support for the ladies. One day saw a girl with, I fear, more boobs than brains running with no bra; it even looked painful!

One reason I like some writers like S.M. Stirling; a woman may be in a primitive culture, but given the chance she puts something supportive on before heading out.

Of course, this subject is like the Conan movies and comic books and covers compared to the actual stories: in the Howard stories he wears armor and only runs around in a breechclout when he had to escape from something without his gear, but the movies and covers have him half-naked- in the freakin' desert, yet!- by choice.