Monday, August 24, 2009

Just what kind of nuclear waste-level of stupid is required

to have one of these around?
Days after a Comcast worker was bitten by a venomous green mamba snake, experts are still trying to find that snake after it escaped into the neighborhood where the worker was bitten.
The snake may never be located and how the snake got into South Florida may be difficult to determine as well. According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, the licensed owners who live within a few miles of the attack have their snakes accounted for
So pythons and boas weren't enough, now there's at least one effing mamba loose. If it turned out to be a gravid female, you've got a problem that makes the big ones look like a slight difficulty.

I know there's been one or two cases of people catching a piranha in Florida, but they were apparently singles that somehow got loose, or some moron turned loose. Speaking of, according to this, somebody caught one in the Po river in Italy. Assuming I understand it; I don't read Italian beyond the level of 'pasta' and 'al Fredo', and when I tried using Babelfish it didn't do squat.

Years back I had to take the dog to a vet, and the one we went to had a big restraint cage in the barn. I asked if it was for horses, and he said "That and lions."
"Lions? As in manes and claws?"
"Yeah. There are some people in Nichols Hills that have them for pets, and they bring them here for shots and checkups."
One more reason for something seriously powerful in the house; your neighbors just might be this damned dumb.


Mongo said...

Locally, there was an Amishman who claimed he was attacked by a mountain lion (he reported from the hospital). Scuttlebutt was the game commission had released two in the area to help control deer, without telling anyone. The GC said it was all a lie, and spoke of prosecuting the Amishman. A few pet dogs came up shredded as well about that time.

The GC said it was all a nasty lie.... but they failed to explain why they blocked off several roads for several hours, and then announced there was no more problem.

You could almost HEAR the shotguns being loaded across this part of the county....

Yes, they are that dumb. Yes, they would release large predators in farm country and think they would just stick to the deer as food.

Anonymous said...

Just like those crazy-ass Holy-Rollers who handle poisonous snakes. If one gets bit, they hear shit like, "You've got too much sin in your life. You didn't trust God enough, etc." Nooooo, it couldn't be because their effing morons, could it?

God gave most of us a brain that functions well. And thank God for that.


Anonymous said...

When I was about 12, one of the neighbor kids, a guy named Warren, who was 18 or so had a desert terrarium with a sidewinder in it. My dad found out and had a talk with him and his folks, told 'em that if that snake escaped, whether or not anyone got bit, he'd personally shoot Warren between the eyes. The look on my dad's face said it all. He was not threatening. He was uttering a prophecy. The moron's dad took a butcher knife right then and cut the snake's head off. To show how bright the kid was, about three months later he rented scuba gear and with no instruction put it on and jumped into 50 feet of water and immediately drowned. Never even turned the air on.

A few years later Dad told me he didn't hate Warren, he was just too stupid and dangerous to be allowed out alone. Kind of like a rabid dog, it wasn't his fault, but he was dangerous and needed to be killed. That time Ma Nature took care of it.

I'd think the neighbors of the idiot who had the Mamba would hold him absolutely responsible. Mambas are agressive and will bite for no apparent reason. The gene pool needs to be chlorinated.

Gerry N.

Firehand said...

Fire, doubt it was any religious people, I believe those groups usually use rattlers and copperheads; mamba would be a bit exotic for them.

Yeah, some game departments are indeed that stupid.

Gerry, I think my dad might have said something similar. Some people just have to push the limits until they fall over the edge.

Anonymous said...


I know. I was just being my sarcastic self. That's what it made me think of.