Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Ok, so I'm not quite finished tonight

Next time I decide to ride a bicycle that far, this time of year, when I'm tired... I may just shoot myself and short-circuit the death process. Note to morons who insist we can all get by on bicycles: you can kiss my heat-rashed ass. Maybe some places it stays mild temps year-round, but not here. This time of year it's often(usually) in the 90's when the sun's shining, and depending on winds and humidity may only get down to 70's at night. I've seen times I'd get off work at 1 a.m. and it was still 80-85 with humidity in the 60+ range. Anyone who think I'll ride a bicycle five miles each way this time of year, I fart in your general direction.

That, by the way, is not including wearing nice attire(day shift) or traffic. Bicycle to work just ain't gonna happen.

The morons will then insist I should live easy bicycle range from work. Well, let's see: two directions from work, places I would not want to live(might even be bad for my health to): other two I can't afford to live there. So I fart at you a second time.

The above also does not count the vagaries of weather, as in rain in warm temps and ice in cold.

What is it about bicycles that makes some people turn into raving assholes? They have to wear their official bicycler spandex, they have to take up lanes and screw with traffice, etc. Anyone remember the name of that group in San Francisco that likes to take over a street at times? Block traffic, beat on cars, scream at people. I think it was at Sondra's I first read about them, after a particularly insane piece of work by these clowns. While doing one of their 'take over the street' stupidities, a group of them surrounded a minivan full of grandparents and kids and proceeded to beat on it, kick it, beat on the windows and generally terrorize the people inside. And, this being Frisco, there was a cop down the street but they had orders not to trouble the animals unless things got 'out of hand', so the bastard did nothing. It's telling that they do this kind of crap in Granola Country and not here. Here, one of three things would happen:
Grandpa would drive over them.
Grandpa or Grandma(or a passerby) would draw and either shoo them away or shoot their dumb ass.
Local cop would be over with mace and a nightstick and take their dumb ass to jail.
It's hard to believe that some moron in government would actually order the cops to let this kind of crap pass. Here, if an officer ignored something like this, the least he could expect is having a new anal orifice installed by the chief's offic(of course, we've now got a COP who thinks we need more gun laws, so he might be more 'sensitive' in the matter). And if a honestly terrified parent/grandparent shot some idiot trying to break the windows- or drove over one to get away- they'd likely face very little in the way of legal action. Being scared the kids are going to get hurt carries a lot of weight. If some jerk prosecutor did want to put them in jail, there'd quickly be a lot of calls from city officials and the people:
"So, you're prosecuting this mother for her actions? Well, I take it real crime is so well under control that you have time and money for this, so I guess we can cut your budget. What's that? Things aren't that good? Well then, would you please explain to me, in simple terms I can understand, what the HELL YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
Oklahoma is not perfect, not by a long shot, but people around here(with the usual PC exceptions) still think of self-defense as a basic right, and you don't screw with that without damn good reason. And then you'll catch a whole lot of crap for it. And politicians know it, the COPs and Sheriffs know it. I don't think you could pay me enough to live in California, or the east coast places with the same attitudes.

Speaking of bicycles:
No matter how hard you pedal on the downslope, inertia will not carry you to the top of the upslope.
Upslopes and headwinds want you to die. Especially on the way back.
And if I can't find the damn key, I'm going to have to cut my old cable lock off and buy a new one.

Dammit.

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