Monday, January 22, 2024

I decided to try my hand at Karl Kolchak meeting a member of the MCB

 “Mr. Kolchak?”

The man in the somewhat rumpled white suit and beat-up straw hat looked up, studied a moment, replied “Mr. Jackson?”

That’s not my actual-”

Sorry, but I’m waiting for someone, and he should be here-”

That’s not my real name, but it’s the one I made the appointment with.”

Karl Kolchak, reporter for the Independent News Service- unless he’d been fired in the last few hours- looked him over again and asked “Detective?”

No sir, a different profession, and I very much need to speak with you.”

God, he’d heard that, and similar, a lot of times. “Matter of life and death, I suppose?”

Yes, Yours.

Another moment of study, then he waved a hand at the other chair, but the man said “This requires a bit more privacy, and we should- ah, there we are” as the manager came up and said “Gentlemen, this way, please.”

I have dined here many times, and Mr. Bailey is most accommodating to his patrons.” Kolchak shrugged, stood, and they both followed Bailey through the busy lunchtime to a table in a corner somewhat away from others. ‘Jackson’ sat in one and waved Kolchak to the other, ordered iced tea for himself and, his guest having brought his drink, said “Mr. Bailey, we will need a few minutes before ordering, may I let you know when?”

“Of course, sir.” As he went back to the front, Kolchak asked “Who have I annoyed that calls for a meeting like this?”

A chuckle, then “My real name is MacNamera, please call me Lucas. I work for an agency you don’t know, and we work hard to keep it that way. You have caused some annoyance, but in the overall you accomplished enough good that we left you alone. Especially since you have such a gift for making yourself so troublesome that few believe you about the matters in question.”

The look from Kolchak became a bit apprehensive. “What was I so troublesome about?”

The vampire for a beginning. Well, two when that other one showed up and moved to Los Angeles. A murderous chemist. A werewolf, an almost eternal murderer, and a few others. Let’s stop the list there.

The look on the reporter’s face was a mix of ‘who the hell are you, and are you going to make me disappear?’, then he replied “What are you talking about? That sounds like Halloween stories-” Macnamera held up a hand and said “Mr. Kolchak, this is, to borrow a saying from my son, as serious as a heart attack, and it does involve your life. Allow me to cover some of this without interruption, and then we can discuss it.” Kolchak nodded, Lucas Macnamera paused a moment as if deciding on the right words, then continued.

“I work for an agency that must, I do mean MUST, stay unknown to most of humanity. It deals with things such as I mentioned and many more. Things that go bump in the night, and sometimes kill, or worse. We must also work to keep these things in the realm of myth and horror stories to the public. I will not go into the specifics of why, at least for now. Before I continue, look at this.” He pulled a leather folder out of a jacket pocket, opened it, and showed the contents, a ID card, with picture, and a badge, both carrying the letters ‘MCB’ in caps. Kolchak studied them, started to say something and caught himself, then looked up and nodded.

The folder was returned to the pocket. “Some of the things you encountered should have been dealt with, and the evidence removed, before you became involved to the extent you were, but we cannot be everywhere. And when we did become aware, you had already been shut down by the local authorities, saving us from revealing ourselves to you then.

One of the things we do to keep a lid on the knowledge of these things is to discourage witnesses from speaking about them. Sometimes that must include some intimidation, which can range from mild to very serious. And on some occasions it means, when someone will not be intimidated, death. Which is why I am here.”

“So am I to be intimidated or murdered? And what does ‘MCB’ stand for?”

“There have been a few times in the past that there was serious discussion about warning you off, but your aforementioned gift of irritating people into keeping you quiet, relatively, has prevented the need. I am here in hopes of keeping it that way.”

Silence, while Kolchak thought on that. Then “And what does it stand for?”

Monster Control Bureau.”


More silence, then “I take it you’re federal?”

“Yes. The bureau was created a long time ago, how long I will not say, and has been in continuous service ever since, doing exactly what I said. We try, whenever possible, to deal with the beings in question before they can do enough damage to draw much attention. We do not always succeed, but very often we do.

The short version of all this is the last thing you tried to break a story on generated enough attention to move you from a listing of ‘No action needed as yet’ to ‘Action needed’, which is not a good thing for you. I am here hoping to prevent it moving from this conversation to something more drastic.”

He could see Kolchak’s mind working over all this. The mention of the vampires, and the Seattle strangler, told him that the agent had connections to find out all about the cases, and that this agency may well have had a hand in those stories being quashed. “I’m guessing you’ve already had a part in getting me fired a couple of times.” Silence. “Can I ask what, specifically, in that last mess caused so much umbrage at your agency?”

“You came very close to getting a story into wide circulation before we could stop it.” MacNamara thought a moment. “I will continue this far: part of our work is to prevent the public from knowing these things are real, because there would be real consequences in this world if they did. Possibly horrible consequences. Enough so that we do things that may well damn our souls in order to prevent that.”

“Since we’re at that point, I am wondering if your oath, and I can’t imagine you don’t have one, cares anything about the Constitution? Limits on government, civil rights, that kind of thing? Or do you just not give a damn?”

We care. Very much, some more than others, but we care. Which is part of that ‘damned souls’ problem I mentioned.” He looked down, taking and letting out a deep breath, then a few moments of silence. “I cannot give specifics, only that this is important enough that we- that I- have done such things, and I have and will pray that God can forgive me, and the others for that evil we have done.”

He leaned forward a bit. “And I pray that you will listen to and believe me, and protect your life.”

Kolchak looked at him for almost ten seconds, then said “So I’m supposed to ignore it when something like, ah, those incidents you mention happen? Say and do nothing while-”

“If at all possible. Please understand that one of the reasons you have been left alone by my agency so long is that you have dealt, very finally, with some of the threats we face. That is no small thing to accomplish, and you have saved lives by doing this. But we cannot allow you to bring the notice you so desire to these stories, these things.”

McNamera reached into a jacket pocket, took out a business card, and held it out. “This is a number that can be called at any time, day or night-” Kolchak took it and saw nothing but a phone number on the card “-if you run into such a thing again. Identify yourself, tell them what you have seen and found out, then hang up and let it go. I promise that action will be taken to deal with the matter. I must also promise that action will be taken against you if you push the matter further, so I beg you consider that.”

The man looked very focused as he finished this, very intent that Kolchak believe him. But, being what he was, his answer was “I’ll think about it. By the way, if I call this and ask for you?”

“I will be notified, but I will not be the one who answers.” He looked at his watch and said “I must go. Please, consider what I have said.” He held his hand up and the manager appeared a few seconds later. “Mr. Bailey, I must go and cannot wait to dine. Please put Mr. Kolchak’s meal and drinks on my account.” He was assured it would be done, then stood. “Good day, Mr. Kolchak”, and walked away.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like it! I remember watching the tv show and it was always a good story.

Rob said...

I really enjoyed The Night Stalker", Kolchak was a great character & you did this well.

Maybe the MCB is the reason we don't see Mr Kolchak anymore? :-)

pigpen51 said...

I think this must be the Kolchak from the old television series, The Night Stalker. Darren McGavin was the lead, if my memory serves me correctly.
I find that it was only on for 20 episodes. I watched this when I was in 9th grade.

Bigtube6 said...

What?!? No discussion of PUFF payments? If Mr. Kolchak "dealt with" some of the threats shouldn't he be able to claim a PUFF?

Midwest Chick said...

Bravo! Love it! Especially as a fan of the old Night Stalker series.

Firehand said...

That's him

Mike G. said...

I love it! I think that you should write a follow-up story where the MCB hires Carl Kolchak to write copy for their New Orleans Truth Teller.
Of course, I can see him being hired by MHI as an investigator for their Los Angeles office. It would fit quite well in the Monster Hunter Memoirs Fever era.

Bob said...

Liked it! Would have been more fun if Franks had been in attendance, but one can't have everything.

And really, MCB would have more success at getting cooperation from the public if they actually made PUFF payments in cases like this - - the principle of catching more flies with honey than with vinegar. Kolchak would have made a tidy sum of PUFF with solo kills of two vampires and a werewolf, to say nothing of the other monsters.

Octothorpe said...

Very nice. I fondly remember the show. This would be a great story to expand into a novel. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Great short story. I remember and liked Kolchak.
As far as PUFF, from MHI first book, the MCB only threatened. It took Earl Harbinger to apply for the PUFF bounties.
That makes sense, as the MCB couldn't advertise the bounties without explaining why they are offered. In Kolchaks' case, it might make sense to offer him a finders' fee for his referrals.
Though working with MHI could be a lot of opportunities for fun
Jojm in Indy