I am going to write about someone I really wish had listened to a piece of advice

My mind was kicked into this memory by glancing over a post Lawdog had about staying away from DC during the inauguration: 
Respected firearms instructor John Farnam has a couple of quotes that I would like folks to meditate upon.
"Don't go stupid places. Don't hang out with stupid people. Don't do stupid things."
And:
"Asking for trouble is a pretty good way to get it."
The first time I heard of this it was referred to as the Four Stupids: 
Don't do stupid things
In stupid places
With stupid people 
At stupid times, and your chances of getting into real trouble, including having to fight for your life, are very greatly reduced.  The more Stupids you violate, the greater your chances of big trouble.

The story goes, years back a lady I knew got into the habit of having a beer(she at least only had one; she was petite and had no alcohol tolerance), talking a while, and then going driving through areas of town she had no business being in at night.  Did point out to her, more than once, that that was not a wise thing to do.  "I can drive wherever I want, whatever time I want, and nobody can tell me I can't!" was always the response it came down to.

Noting that yes, she could, but it wasn't real smart to do that was ignored.

Add in one more complication: she was one of those who always insisted she needed to lose 'that last five pounds(she didn't)', but wouldn't actually exercise, so when she stopped losing weight she started using diet pills.  I did tell her that using those was dumb, and especially when she had a drink, but...

As you might expect, the cops who patrolled those areas became quite familiar with her, and she wound up being stopped more than once(a simple fact cops deal with is that when someone who has no business being in a certain place at certain times is randomly driving around, and/or keeps showing up, it needs to be looked at).  No arrests, but more than one warning: "You really shouldn't be here at night."  Which always led to "I'm not doing anything wrong, I can drive where I want", etc.  On one occasion she told me about she asked a cop why he kept stopping her and he flatly told her "Because I don't want to have to investigate your rape or murder."  No impression was made.  She was never drunk, but the beer was a factor in doing this.

Over time it got worse.  She really needed a good psychologist; some things hadn't gone well in her life, and they were all someone else's fault.  Maybe so, but even if correct she wasn't dealing with things well.  This finally led to a bad accident, which led to being in a psychiatric facility for a couple of days because something said when the cops arrived made them think she was suicidal.  Convinced them otherwise, healed up and got out.  And after a while was doing it again.

Finally, one night, she did get arrested, and only having the story she told me later I have no real idea what happened.  She did wind up with a neck injury which she insisted was because the cop was a bastard who wanted to beat someone up.  Possible, but it's also possible that she nutted out and he had to use some force to get the cuffs on and get her in the unit.  I have no idea, but that really put things on a downward slope that had some grease on it.

From that time on she had trouble working because of the injury, which made her more bitter, and it reached the point that any time she called to talk it shortly wound up with her bitching the same gripes about the cop and him ruining her life, and she wanted him dead, etc.  One night when it started I told her "If you're going to do nothing but gripe about the cop again, I don't want to hear it."

"Well, I'm going to talk about him!  He messed me up!", and on, and I said "I'll talk to you later" and hung up.

We spoke less and less, last time was about two years ago.  Downhill she'd gone, and I didn't want to witness any more of it.

Had the cop used excessive force?  No idea.  She was small, but I've known/known of a couple of people who were seriously injured when a small woman went over the fence, whatever force used may have been called for.  For all I know he tried to cuff her and she jerked back and fell.

The one thing that she would never deal with was the simple fact that if she hadn't been in those stupid places at those stupid times, this wouldn't have happened.


Yes, I had some times of thinking "Was there anything else I could've said or done that would've made a difference?"  I don't think so.  I really wish I'd had some magic words, but I didn't.