🚨BREAKING: In a stunning display of "read the room" failure, Graham Platner has officially announced he is refusing to drop out, leaving absolutely everyone else in the room, burying their faces in their hands. Sources confirm that Platner’s ego has officially detached from reality and is now orbiting the earth. Despite a mountain of evidence, public outcry, and basic common sense screaming, "PLEASE STOP," Platner remains anchored to the spot like a stubborn piece of gum on a hot sidewalk, refusing to drop out unless he can name his successor (where are the no kingers?). When asked for a comment on why he refuses to just gracefully exit, Platner reportedly adjusted his collar and said, "The people love me," while the crowd behind him awkwardly looked at their watches and pretended to receive urgent text messages.
"But I am the new Stalin, and they adore me!"
More details on this mess here. Which includes lots of opportunities for "After all these years calling Trump and republicans national socialists and woman-abusers, THIS is what the Democrats tried to shove down people's throats."
Isn't it grand, boys?
No comments:
Post a Comment