On disaster preparation

There are things I hate to shop for or buy.

Not because there's something inherently bad or unpleasant about the thing in question, but because of what it stands for. Medications or vitamins mean accepting that there's a health problem or the possibility of, crap like that. Some things, sometimes, it means you've looked at a very unpleasant possibility, decided it could happen and then decided to get ready. Just in case.

One thing a lot of people have a real problem with, in this line of thought, is buying a gun for self-defense. Or just deciding to use one they own for the purpose. Many of us have known someone who liked to hunt or target shoot or collect, but would not have a loaded gun in the house; the idea of looking down the barrel at another human being, even in the gravest circumstances, they can't handle. Especially if you've been around people who've prepared for that(law enforcement, military, just people who've decided their life and their families lives are worth defending), it's usually not as big a problem. With the exception of a few people who have a screw so loose it's about to fall out, nobody likes the idea, but the idea of being unarmed and helpless in the face of an attack, especially if someone you care about is at risk, is far worse than the thought of firing a shot into another person.

The step that started me thinking about this was buying a holster. Someone, can't remember who, a while back wrote that part of his get-home or bugout bag was a thigh holster, because his standard belt holster didn't fit well with a backpack.

Simple thing, right? Which I'd never thought of. I've got a get-home and a bugout pack(which I tend to keep fooling with what's inside, but that's another matter) and I'd adjusted the straps and so forth, but I'd never actually worn the damn things with a pistol on. So I tried it, and yeah, a low-ride holster would be a very good idea.

I'd looked online and found a couple, but wanted to actually see the thing before buying. Other day I finally took time to hit a local shop(nobody else locally had one I could find) and found a couple. And then spent a while comparing, and trying to decide between(one more expensive but more solid, the other less expensive and lighter) and it finally hit me why I was dithering: for some reason, this step- even more than putting the packs together- was admitting that certain things could happen to make the world go to hell and I'd better be ready, just in case.

I spent the drive home thinking about this, and wondering why this step hit that point so hard. I couldn't figure it out, still can't(just amazing how the mind works at times). It did remind me of something, which I finally found. Ever heard of Harry Flashman? A gentleman named George MacDonald Fraser wrote a series of books about him, all well-worth reading. Harry is a no-crap coward who wound up in the British army and was involved in some very important events for the British Empire, and some other nations as well. In Royal Flash he's been enticed into a trip and he's packing, when he runs into a quandary over a pair of pistols:
But I pondered about taking them. The truth was, I didn't want to believe that I might need them.
...
I knew, as I hesitated with those pistols in my hands, that if I took them I should be admitting the possibility of my own sudden death or maiming in whatever lay ahead.
...
And experience has taught me that, as with all weapons, while you may not often need it, when you do you need it badly.

A few months back Kim had a letter from a guy who'd basically been disowned by 'polite society' for doing a horrible thing: during a discussion about disaster preparations, when some of the neighbors/friends said if things blew up they'd come stay with him- since he was prepared- he basically said "The hell you will!" This struck them as being absolutely horrible of him, proving that he was uncaring and uncivilized and hateful and probably ate kittens and puppies for breakfast. I commented at the time that at least some of that nonsense was probably because he faced them with a terrible thought: that if things did go to hell they'd have to take care of themselves. Even if only for a little while. And that just flat terrified them. Especially since, as for Harry, they were faced with the thought of their death. And maybe the deaths of their family.

One of the mantras of self-defense is "mental preparation and attitude is vital, even more so than physical preparations". Really, it goes for pretty much any emergency. And, as per Harry's words, one of the possibilities you have to face is "I could get hurt. I could get killed, even in winning." Because, especially if you're protecting wife/husband/kids/etc. from attackers, the very unpleasant fact is that 'winning' can mean you stop the attackers, but you're crippled. Or dead. Not a nice thing to contemplate, but it has to be faced. So part of preparation is working scenarios in your head, and including in them you getting hurt but not stopping until the fight is done.

I think I've gone a bit overlong in this. It just struck me that this kind of reluctance to do/buy something has to hit a lot of people, and getting over it is part of developing the mental state of I will survive. And getting to that proper mental attitude can be a lot harder than buying the tools.