Og has, over the past while, informed us of a number of incidents that brought up the term 'crapblogging', among the worst of which was this from Velociman. While I have nowhere near the experience he has shown with certain phenomena(thank God!), I thought I'd pass this on. Especially since he bought a bike.
A few months ago I was out one evening taking care of some errands. Warm evening, the bike running smooth, all's well with the world. Until I was heading home, with a couple of miles to go, and my system suddenly advised me "It's Time". Maybe the vibration, or the rough spots in the road, but it was INDEED time. Every tried to ride a motorcycle over distance, in traffic, with your butt clenched as tight as you can get it? I'll save you the trouble; it ain't a whole lot of fun.
Various internal motions and close calls later, with about a half-mile to go, got caught at a light. A LONG damn light, with rumbles and disturbances threatening to not only let go but to blast me off the seat when they happened. I nearly blew the light but there was too much traffic, so I sat there, about two inches taller in the saddle than usual, and when that light changed I damn near used the curb for a berm shot as I took the turn. Residential street, can't go too fast, please don't let me get caught at the light, yeah thank you, down the final straight and into the driveway. Hit the kickstand, hit the door at a near run, I'm thinking I can feel bad things coming out of me, slam it behind me, into the bathroom nearly breaking my belt getting it open and my pants down and with my butt about two inches above the seat it begins. Not nearly at the cosmic-incident level of Velociman, but damn! I never felt thrust from a bowel movement before. Which went on for a while, with a feeling of 'all is right with the world' coming over me as my system emptied everything except my internal organs(unless that was a gall bladder I felt? Nah).
And after all that, it only took about two squares of TP and one wipe to clean up. For which I was profoundly grateful.
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