2) Always wait until finishing your woodwork with the skillsaw prior to using your meth.
and
When attempting a self-circumcision do not use dry ice to numb the
area... and when the dry ice sticks to the... a.... area, do not attempt
to remove the ice with boiling water.
Under the double heading "Can't stop the signal, Mal" and "Things that make Bloomberg and Watts really pissy", a 3-D printed revolver.
Under two headings as well: "Why do you want a big magazine anyway?" and "Reasons overuse of SWAT is a bad idea":
The video shows a skinny bandit who has
trouble kicking in a front door of a home at 1163 Morley Ave. in the
Boulevard Heights neighborhood near Grant Park. After his first failure,
he stalks off but moments later he returns and tries again and again.
The door finally swings open on his third kick, and masked men swarm the front entrance with guns drawn.
Seriously, you ever looked at the number of home invasions where the bad guys are yelling "POLICE!" as they break in? Sometimes with jackets that say 'Police'? The days of "You should have known it was the police" are long gone.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to flop down with a book for a while.
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