The nativist idea of a rebellion is to dress up like Indians and dump tea in the ocean—the 18th-century version of frat boys pranking the archrival football team.
The redneck idea of a rebellion is to lie in wait with a shotgun for the guy who’s trying to tax your whiskey.
In the current entry in Mr. Williamson's Small Person/Large Person dialogue,
Small Person: Large Person, do you have more of these yummy crunchies I found on the kitchen counter?
Me: Mother of God! You're eating coffee beans!
Small Person: Is that what they are? They are YUMMY!
No word as to whether she's stopped vibrating yet.