Tuesday, January 31, 2017

From the Brief History of Rednecks:

The nativist idea of a rebellion is to dress up like Indians and dump tea in the ocean—the 18th-century version of frat boys pranking the archrival football team.

The redneck idea of a rebellion is to lie in wait with a shotgun for the guy who’s trying to tax your whiskey.

In the current entry in Mr. Williamson's Small Person/Large Person dialogue,
Small Person: Large Person, do you have more of these yummy crunchies I found on the kitchen counter?

Me: Mother of God! You're eating coffee beans!

Small Person: Is that what they are? They are YUMMY!
No word as to whether she's stopped vibrating yet.

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