Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Kim for UN Ambassador!

An idea whose time has come.
# Every time some crappy Third World country starts a speech asking for aid, I’ll take off my headphones and start playing cards with the UK ambassador.
# All countries and cities will be referred to by their names circa 1935: Burma, Southern Rhodesia, Bombay, Tangyanika, Tsingtao, Borneo, etc.
# All Communist countries will be referred to as “those Commie rats from...”
# Issue all U.S. diplomatic staff at the U.N. with Tasers, and instructions to use them at will.
# Speeches addressed to the Usual Suspects will begin: “When your country has paid all their parking tickets and other traffic fines, we’ll consider your proposal. Otherwise, forget about it.”

And for his confirmation hearing:
# Any question put to me by Sens. Leahy, Kennedy or Schumer will be answered with: “Did your masters in Moscow or Peking tell you to ask me that?”
# Any comments from a Democrat senator about my lack of diplomatic experience will be met with: “Well, you talk about climate stuff, economics and morality, don’t you?”
# If asked what my qualifications for the job are, I’ll answer: “I don’t trust foreigners. Any of them.”

I promise, if he gets the nomination I will take annual leave so I can go to D.C. and attend the hearing.

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