that I shouldn't be allowed in places like Whole Foods. The fact of the matter is, on the few trips I've actually made there, I'm cranky before I even get in the place. That's because the parking lot is normally full of Prius hybrid shitmobiles and Lexus hybrid SUVs. The stench of middle class smug hits you the moment you open the door to your car.
Once you get inside, it only gets worse. All the staff is fashionably counter-culture in appearance. There's some variety of zen-like, multicultural music playing that features Chilean mountain flutes or some such nonsense. There are boxes of children's's cereal with names like Panda Flakes that claim to be eco-friendly (how can a fucking corn flake be eco-anything?). A half-hour in that sort of environment, and I'm looking for a baby seal to club.
However, the store and the staff and the merchandise isn't the worst of it. Not by a long shot. It's the clientele. Jesus, what a fucking crew. Upper-middle class eco-fakes. Seriously coiffed corporate lawyers who wear pre-faded jeans and designer sandals to shop for overpriced eco-friendly food while a gaggle of Mexicans cuts his lawn for him. Junior League bimbos in fashionable exercise attire. A half-hour around these folks, and I'm saying "Fuck the baby seals, I'm gonna bag me a Yuppie!"
I've got to get by Dennis the Peasant more often