Professional Journalism, Time magazine version

Time Magazine covered a Charles Koch speech with the headline “Charles Koch says U.S. Can Bomb Its Way to $100,000 Salaries.” Except what he actually said was:

“I think we can have growth rates in excess of 4%. When I’m talking about growth rates, I’m not talking about that GDP, which counts poison gas the same as it counts penicillin,” the 79-year-old industrialist said, veering off his prepared remarks. “What a monstrous measure this is. If we make more bombs, the GDP goes up — particularly if we explode them.”

In other news, "Don't worry, this is politically-correct segregation(and if you don't agree you're a racist)!"
The new Director of Multicultural Student Affairs at North Carolina State University recently pledged to create a segregated housing option for “women of color” only.
...
While NC State already has two housing options for racial minorities—one exclusively for black males and another for Native American students—the school does not currently have one for female racial minority students, hence Whittenburg’s proposal.
I will refrain from further comment, because this pretty much covers it:

If you'll excuse me, I now have an appointment with a shower, followed by one with my bed.