Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Piers Morgan: Fake-photo journalist and crook and general slimeball:

even more so than I'd known:
Now imagine you have £20'000 in the bank just collecting dust with it's piddly little 1.5% interest rate, crying out for some real investement. Well in 2000 Piers Morgan found himself in this very position! Unfortunately for him he's Piers Morgan, and thus he is shit at almost everything, including crime. He got caught playing the stock market and suddenly found himself the subject of an investigation. Fortunately for him he's Piers Morgan, and thus is an expert at weasling his way out of nearly any situation. (Notice I said nearly.) He was found to be in breach of financial journalism's sacred code of conduct but for reasons unknown he managed to keep his job. The fact he blamed the two columnists that wrote for his financial section may have helped. They lost their jobs. Oh and during their trial, it turned out Piers hadn't invested £20'000 in Viglin all along! He'd actualy invested £67'000 under his wifes name.

So a few years passed, Piers made more monumental fuck-ups along the way and pretty much drove the Daily Mirror into the ground. By 2004, it was the last straw. Silly ol' Piers went and authorised the publication of photos fresh from the war in Iraq, which seemed to show British Troops abusing and mistreating Iraqi POWs. Unfortunately for him he's Piers Morgan, and the photos turned out to be fake and he wasn't going to be able to get around this one. He was fired the paper had to actually run stories on their front pages for about a week offering their most sincere apologies and making lame excuses. It was pretty pathetic.
 ...
Clarkson was furious, as any of us would have been. Fortunately for him he's Jeremy Clarkson and happened to be attending the British Press Awards, along with that cheeky scamp Piers Morgan! So what did he do? Did he confront the invasive little shit and give him a piece of his mind? Not quite. Rather than talk it out Clarkson slowly walked over to Piers and cracked him straight in the face, then he calmly left.
Okay so it's not quite 'raped to death by grizzly bears on PCP' as Piers Morgan actually deserves, but you take the small victories where you can...

1 comment:

Windy Wilson said...

"He was found to be in breach of financial journalism's sacred code of conduct but for reasons unknown he managed to keep his job."

That part is easy. As the "face", he was perceived as the "thing" that gets eyeballs to tune in to the show. For that he will always get a pass, at least until there is a big enough public outcry and the ratings slip. The only difference between him and Robert Downey Jr. is how he F***s up.