Halloween safety advice

1. If someone tells you that you are the Chosen One and must save whoever or whatever, kill them and change your name.
2. Same bloody well goes for any harbinger of any "prophesy". If possible, resurrect them and kill them a second time.
3. If a mysterious and beautiful woman appears out of nowhere and is interested in you, run.
4. If you see a lone young child in the middle of nowhere and is uncommonly cheerful and/or giggling, run like you heard banjos.
5. Black cats, not so bad. Black dog that watches you without ever blinking? Don't run. Slowly back away.
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12. For the love of the gods, if you are driving at night, fill the tank when you're between a quarter and half tank.
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15. Little known fact, vampires are allergic to magnesium. When ignited and shoved down their throat.

Get the rest at Jay's place.