Sunday, May 25, 2008

This just in: Soviet apologists still thin-skinned,

humorless jerks. Sort of like Barack Whoosis Obama.
Party leaders accused the actors Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett yesterday of promoting crude, anti-Soviet propaganda in their new film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. They have urged Russian moviegoers to boycott the film and told Ford, 65, not to visit the country.
Boo-frikkin'-ho, commies, suck it up. You lost.

And you really were a bunch of bloody-handed tyrants. Your own archives take note of it.

The party’s central committee called Steven Spielberg’s film an attempt to “slander Soviet Communists” and poison the young against them. It called Ford and Blanchett “capitalist puppets”.

“Our moviegoers are teenagers who are unaware of what happened in 1957,” said Sergei Malinkovich, the chief of the St Petersburg Communist Party chief. “They will go to the cinema and will be sure that in 1957 we made trouble for the United States and almost started a nuclear war. It’s rubbish.”

Translation: "It's garbage, I tell you! Just because we tried to conquer the world and murdered millions and left a legacy that still has Russia screwed up, don't think we'll put up with you making us look bad!"

Hell, I'm going to have to create a new category, just for crap like this.


Mattexian said...

So... when should we expect the Neo-Nazis in German to start whining about the previous Indiana Jones movies and their predecessors' depictions?

Firehand said...

They probably did: but, being bad socialists, they didn't get much press on their bitching.