A: "If you're cold, they're cold!"

In a pig's ass.
Me: "C'mon, get back in!"
Sec. Staff: "We don't want to."
"It's cold out here, and wet, get in!"
"Not to us, hairless."
"GET IN, DAMMIT!"   Etc.

B:
Good news: some cookies left.
Bad news: this weather, I keep wanting to eat the damn things.

C:
Listening to the weather weenies hyperventilate: "It's SNOWING, it's a new record!"
Like everyone's going to die from it.  Hell, it's snowed on Halloween before, so mid-November isn't a big deal.  Despite their heavy breathing while warning of incipient disaster.