Put stuff down, thinking it's shoe soles.
Hear squeaks while standing still, think "Crap, the ceiling fan is going out."
Turn on light to look at fan and see bird frantically beating on ceiling.
Kill all lights, try to shoo bird toward open front door with porch light on.
Bird falls behind fridge.
Chase out, flutters, lands on hand. Very pretty female cardinal.
Start walking slowly toward door, bitch flies off and hides behind freezer.
Chase out, flutters and chirps and flops into corner behind dirty clothes(don't ask).
Gently block from flying and get both hands around her, pick up.
'Chirp. SQUAWK!!'(yeah, it's female)
Advise that "If you hadn't flown in, we wouldn't have to do this, dumbass!" as carry to door.
Step on porch and open hands. Bird perches there for about five seconds, rearranging feathers, then flies off.
And how was YOUR evening?
Due to a bleepload of spam, this comment from Gerry got deleted:
I go through that scenario about three times a month with the dumass
chickadees that come to the feeders on my back porch. They are tame
enough to just land on my outstretched palm sometimes, but they get
scared and fly back into the house if I don't cover them with my other
hand. They go all calm and quiet, apparently the darkness and warmth are
anasthetic to them. A few will come and eat from my hand if I go
outside and sit still. The Juncos are skittish as all get out and the
Pine Siskins are far too busy to be bothered. The Rufous Hummingbirds
are, well, hummingbirds. Crows and Stellar's Jays come right up and put
in orders for meals. They got brass. So I buy 'em dent corn, they seem
to like it and it's still silly cheap as far a bird feed goes.
been giving some serious thought to buying thirty or forty pounds of
shelled dent corn and learning to make hominy. One of my Mt. Man
Rendezvous buddies says it's nothing like the bland crap that comes in
cans and isn't all that hard to make.