Had a friend from down south visit over the weekend. This was both a good and a bad thing: the Good because it was nice to see them; Bad because I had to clean up(it's not dirty, but messy seems to be my standard operating mode). Overall a nice weekend, but one part far more stressful than I needed and I'd have skipped it if I could.
Friend had never seen the Murrah Building Memorial for the April 19 bombing, and wanted to see it before leaving. I live in Oklahoma City, but I'd never been there. Matter of fact, I'd made a point of not going. I was working that day, and down the road I'll write about what I was doing and what happened on my end, but not now. Let's put it this way, I never went for the same reason I've never watched Schindler's List: I have no desire to get that pissed off. Or angered. Or enraged. Put it as you will.
Night had fallen before we arrived, and as we walked around I did not look directly at the empty chairs, or the names, except in response to a question. Told some parts of the story they hadn't heard. Really, it was about as bad as I'd expected it to be, not only for my reaction to the particular incident, but for the chain of associations it set off.
One of the people responsible died by the executioners hand, one is in prison. But I think there were others, and I don't think McVeigh dreamed- and set up- this on his own. And that started me thinking about our current enemy. About people who speak with enthusiasm of wiping an entire people off the face of the planet. Of people who well send their own children into a restaurant with a bomb around their belly because "You will please god if you kill Jews while you die." Of Beslan. Of the people who want to recreate Beslan, worse if possible, here. People who'll murder a woman for accidentally showing an ankle in the market, or beat them senseless- and maybe kill them- for being out of the house without a male family escort. There's a school a few blocks from my home, and these disgusting excuses for humans would like to take it over and kill everyone in it.
The level of, I don't really have the words for it, 'rage' will have to do, that this causes is almost debilitating, because- barring some flat miracles- I think it'll happen somewhere. Like it was said a long time ago, we have to get lucky a lot; they only have to get lucky once. And when it does, not only will we have to deal with the incident and the aftermath, we'll have to listen to the idiots and freedom-haters tell us how it's our fault, that if only we'd (fill in the damn blank) it wouldn't have happened. And a lot of people, like me, will have to deal with the fact that they cannot individually do anything about it, and that's one of the worst parts.
Friend had never heard of Beslan. Since I'd brought the name up I had to give a basic 'what happened', and I think I nearly made them sick. The told me later that they tried not to think about such things because they couldn't deal with it(they'd made it maybe a third through Schindler's List and left the theater). You know something? I wish I could do that. I wish I could simply not think about it, push those thoughts and the information aside. But I can't.
I'm hoping that there are some amongst the islamists who realize the consequences if they do pull that off here, but I fear that, if there are any, they'll either stay quiet or be ignored. And the followup is that there will be people here who'll work hard to keep us from doing anything about it.
Shit. I need a drink.