and bikini top at the laundromat:
Darlin', I realize you enjoy being looked at. Now, don't give me that crap about "No I don't!"; nobody who doesn't like it would walk around in public that way. To do laundry, no less.
Bikini top, ok. But those jeans... You took low-rise jeans, left the top button undone and rolled the waistband down so it barely coverd your pubic area in front and left the top of your buttcrack open to public view. And I've got news for you: you didn't look real good dressed that way.
Fact is, there's damn few who really would, that's a tough look for a woman to carry off without looking like either a hooker or music video background-wannabe. No, you're not fat, that's not it, you just don't look good dressed like that.