How Cold Is It?
An annotated thermometer
(If they can find one in their wardrobe)
50 – Miami residents turn on the heat
40 – You can see your breath.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming.
35 – Italian cars don’t start.
32 – Water freezes
30 – You plan your vacation to Australia.
Minnesotans put on T-shirts.
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
British cars don’t start.
Your boogers freeze
25 – Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitifully.
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming
20 – You can hear your breath
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation farther south.
15 – French cars don’t start.
You plan a vacation in Mexico
Cat insists on sleeping in bed with you.
10 – Too cold to ski.
You need jumper cables to get the car running.
05 – You plan your vacation in Houston.
Amercian cars don’t start.
0 - Alaskans put on T-shirts.
Too cold to skate.
-10 – German cars don’t start.
Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 – You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Iowans stick tongues on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 – Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you.
Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
Japanese cars don’t start.
-25 – Too cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 - You plan a 2 week hot bath.
The Mighty Monongahela freezes.
Swedish cars don’t start.
-40 – Californians disappear.
Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweaters.
Your car helps you plan your trip south
-50 – Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 – Hell freezes over
Polar Bears move south.
merry Christmas to you and your readers from all of us here at over the water.
ReplyDeleteThank you, and Merry Christmas to you, too
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