Girl I knew came into class looking like hell, and asked what’d happened. Lack of sleep because the phone range at 2am, and when she answered it friend said “A buffalo shit on my car!”
Yes, you read that correctly.
After the "What?" and repeats, story came out like this:
Seems friend had been driving her MG through the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge. This is a big area that includes a herd of American bison(hereafter ‘buffalo’) and a lot of other wildlife(including a herd of longhorn cattle) that have the run of the place, two-lane roads with no lights, and maybe two buildings on the whole place that had any lights at night. And, this being pre-cellphone days, a pay phone in front of the visitors center.
So friend had come busting around a corner at about 55mph to see the back end of a buffalo standing in the middle of his road. She hit the brakes, but the car hit it in the back legs,
(To give scale: MG sports car vs. a buffalo. A bull can be six feet at the top of the shoulders, and weigh in the 1500-pound range; sometimes more.)
causing it to sit on the hood- popping both front tires and screwing the suspension- and, either in reaction or comment, crap all over the hood and windshield.
Leaving her to walk about two miles to the visitor center and call for help.
The buffalo? He slid off the car, shook and snorted, and walked off. Probably ten or fifteen pounds lighter.
You can’t make this stuff up.