Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Because only certain parts of the Bill of Rights are politically correct

Also, only men can be internet trolls.  We know this 'cause a genuine doctoral fellow in the Department of Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies at Emory University says so.
...Unless there’s a secret army of robot bigots out there who have outsmarted every CAPTCHA in existence, it’s pretty clear that Internet harassment comes from actual human men. Yes, cruel online messages are typically typed by fingers which are attached to human arms which are, in turn, attached to the human men that we all, unfortunately, must interact with at some point in our lives.
Etc. ad Bullshit, on and on.

As to her opinion of the BoR, here's a few:
Tenth: Your man is passionate about states’ rights. Racists and homophobes love states’ rights. Be afraid.

Ninth: Your man picked the foundation for Roe v. Wade. Good egg!

Third: If he picks an amendment this useless, you should just dump him anyway even if he’s not a troll.

Second: Run. Seriously, just run! Your man might not be an asshole to people on the Internet because he’s too busy being an open-carrying asshole in real life.

First: This could be a huge warning sign. Trolls cite the First Amendment as frequently as college application essays cite “The Road Not Taken.” They think that it gives them the right to verbally harass, stalk, and threaten whomever they want without any consequences. If your man picks the First Amendment, just ask him to explain what it means. If he thinks it means that “it’s a free country” and “people can say whatever they want,” tell him to go back to the playground he learned his politics from and find a new boyfriend.

Congratulations, madam: you have just given us a fine demonstration of what a bigoted socialist hoplophobic jerk thinks like.  Summed up nicely by one of the comments:
This article is brilliant; it's beyond reproach... because if you were to criticize it you'll be dismissed as a troll.

BTW, the reason there is no acknowledgement of female trolls because we don't call them trolls. We call them academic feminists


Windy Wilson said...

“it’s a free country” and “people can say whatever they want,”
I thought that was the leftist view. It isn't?

Anonymous said...

Armed with the best vagina an $8,000 crowdfunding project can buy, and a degree in bullshit studies, Mr. Allen sets out to smash the patriarchy...

markm said...

Windy: Only if the speech is politically correct.