because it's too good not to:
Al Gore screamed when he saw the evil snowmen rampaging. “They’re terrifying, what with their eyes made of coal. Coal is a leading cause of green house gases, just behind farting cows. However, I am glad to see that they are using biodegradable materials such as carrots for noses.”
Tim pimp slapped Al Gore. “Get a hold of yourself, man!” He thought better of it, and slapped Al Gore again, just because it was kind of fun.
“What can I do to help stop this terrible army of evil snowmen?” Al Gore asked. “Anything. Just please make them go away!”
“I need you to let global warming happen!” Tim said. “Rising temperatures will cause Stabby and his army to melt. We might not be able to save Christmas this year, but we can still save humanity. I’d rather be farming Greenland than impaled on a giant icicle.”
Al Gore grew quiet. “Uhm… well… that may be a bit of a problem…”
“What?” Tim cried. Outside the snowmen were building a siege engine.
“Yeah… that global warming thing. We… uh… we made it up… The data was all fabricated. I… uh… I just wanted to be important. And I used the money to buy a rockin’ private jet. You must have missed that thing with the e-mails.”
“But… but you won the Nobel Prize!” Tim gasped.
Al Gore laughed. “Are you kidding? Haven’t you been paying attention? They give those things out in Happy Meals now!”
From Chapter 7.
Sally Love-Interest screamed in terror as Tim stumbled into the mall. “Tim! You’re covered in blood!”
“Don’t worry, it’s from Al Gore,” Tim answered quickly. That Stabby sure lived up to his name.