* Ireland was founded in 432 AD by a group of masochists who actually ENJOYED leading bleak lives of hopeless despair. Many of their descendants would later emigrate to Chicago and become Cubs fans.
* In 1998 Danny O'Malley of Dublin created the first internet search engine to specialize in Irish-related information: Alcohoogle.
* Currently, every search term entered returns the Guinness home page.
* To prevent illegal immigration into the country, Irish Border Patrol members guard the country's beaches by hurling empty whiskey bottles at swimmers.
* The Irish possess the most unstoppable Special Forces in the world, which are capable of successfully invading any nation with at least one distillery.
* According to noted zoologist Jonathan Swift, the Irish - unlike rattlesnakes - really DO taste like chicken.
* Ireland has long been famous for the irritable temperament of its inhabitants. It used to be called Angerland, until St. Patrick realized that "ire" was a much more sophisticated-sounding word.
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