Tuesday, October 18, 2005

What's the big deal about baking bread?

I was reading Steve's stuff about cornbread, and started wondering why so many people have conniptions at the idea of baking bread? Admittedly there are some recipes for some types that are rather involved, but most are fairly simple.

I just pulled a pan of focaccia out of the oven, and if there's a simpler bread that that it's cornbread. I've taken it- the focaccia- and seasoned olive oil and vinegar to a party to share, and people raved about the bread, and proceeded to tell me what a genius I was to bake it.

Guess what? Put the ingredients in the bread machine, which does the kneading for me for a whole 3-4 minutes. Dump it in a greased bowl and let it rise. Dump it in a greased pan and spread it out and let it rise, knock it down and sprinkle some stuff on top, rise another 15 minutes and bake it. While I'm not averse to being called a genius, this kind of stuff is not proper reason for it.

Have you noticed most cooking is that way? Stew is browning some meat, throwing it in a pot with some water and veggies and whatever and letting it simmer. Jambalaya is sausage and rice and onion and bell pepper and whatever else you want to throw in. And so on; much of the stuff Steve has in his book is really simple, and it tastes damn good. One of the most involved things there are the baked beans, and that's just stir everything together and bake. Stuff like cake and some cookies requires you to use the correct amounts of stuff; but you can still add something in. My daughter and ex are always giving me tips on stuff like this. There's a nut bread recipe I like, and they found out that you can add a tablespoon of your favorite flavor coffee creamer to it and it comes out wonderfully. This is not reloading; you add something 'extra' in there and you may have to make up a story to make your prosthetic sound less like your fault. With cooking, you mess up and you may have to throw the result away.

Ref reloading, I read that the guy who developed the .454 Casull was using triplex loads; meaning he was mixing three different powders to get the result he wanted. The magazine where I read this specifically pointed out that this was, how do you say, a dumbass(not their word) thing to do, and please don't try it at home. Which may explain why he produced a pistol cartridge that would hurt to shoot in a rifle; his brain was still sloshing from the concussion.

Back to baking, there are a lot of simple things you can try, like adding some almond extract to a cake. It's very unlikely to screw it up, and it may just add something you really like to the finished product. If it doesn't, this is one reason you should have a dog. Preferably a mutt; they can eat rat poison, urp a time or two and ask what's for dessert? whereas a lot of purebreds don't get the proper diet and have the runs for a week. Kind of like... well, never mind that.

Where was I? Never mind that, too. Basic idea is, most cooking is simple unless you want to be the kind of 'chef' who puts one ounce of beef and three string beans on a plate and calls it dinner. Pie crust? It's flour and shortening and a touch of salt and some water, and that's it, but I took some tarts I had made to a fair and people had fits over the work of making the crust. Either they just aren't willing to try it, or they've bought into the hype from the three-bean chefs.

Oh well, it's an easy way to impress people.

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