Not really interested in elephant; they've got enough problems without me annoying them, and I've got no place to put the tusks. Lion? Maybe, would make a nice rug. Leopard? Oh, yeah. And antelope and Cape Buffalo.
The antelope and buffalo have the most good points on their side: not only can you hunt them, you can eat them. Ok, you could eat the lion and leopard, but I've read that lion is really gamy tasting, and I'd think leopard would be about the same. Warthogs could be had as bait for the leopard, and for their tusks; from what I've read they tend to be infested with enough parasites that you wouldn't want one for dinner unless you had NO other choice.
Having somehow, er, 'obtained' enough cash for this venture, I would also need to draft Steve into the trip. I'd bring in the meat, and he could cook the beasts and make beer to wash them down with. Maybe talk Kim into going along; he's got some familiarity with that part of the world-some parts of it anyway- and might be handy to keep something from having me as an entree. Or something venomous from sinking fangs into me. All things to be avoided, I'm sure. Since I've heard that a lot of government agencies over there operate largely as kleptocracies, he could probably give pointers on who to brib- er, encourage to assist us and with how large a gratuity.
My son, if along, would probably spend some time hunting, and some figuring out how to lift and blow the pro hunters vehicle(mechanically, dammit; shut up). Daughter would, along with shooting tasty things for dinner, be talking to the local citazens and finding out what was poisonous, how to use it, etc.(she's interested in poisons, and has a number of references on the subject; her bookshelf used to make dinner guests nervous)
This would be an interesting trip in many ways("Kim, where's the brandy? " "Steve, go ahead, stuff the whole damn thing! The crew can dig a firepit and they'll help eat it, too." "Son, he doesn't want the drivers seat as high as the platform on top of the other one. However after that elephant chased us yesterday, he will let you give the engine and tranny a kick up." "Jasmine, would you please be sure and store that stuff well away from the spice rack? And how are you gonna get it through customs, anyway?") We could name the local livestock, for instance call a drunk elephant 'Ted' or 'Senator'. Though it might be better to use that for a hippo, since they run into the river a lot.
This would be fun.
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